Birth Story

As you all know, I was completely terrified to be induced. But in the end everything happened as it should and now we are blessed with Lucia Kate...the most perfectly precious, amazing, wonderful, and lovely little human I will ever know in my whole life.

We went into the hospital at 1201am on Saturday morning April 9th to be induced.  When I got hooked to the contractions monitor, we realized I was already having contractions on my own, I just didn't know it.  But we went ahead and put in a cervix softener to see if that would trigger stronger and more frequent contractions.  But that didn't work.  So my doctor came in at 8am in the morning and stripped my membranes (broke my water) and from about 830am until 230pm I had some major bring you to your knees contractions.  However, when the nurses checked my cervix at 230pm, I hadn't dilated past 2cm, which is what was at when I entered the hospital. That was pretty disappointing.  Our nurse Mary kindly suggested that if in 4 hours, I hadn't dilated more that I might want to consider an epidural.  At that point, I was in so much pain, I decided for the epidural right then.  I was so scared to get it that I was shaking.  While it took my pain away by about 330pm, the loss of feeling in my legs, combined with increased heart rate, and the worry about my daughter did not allow me to feel like I could sleep or rest.  The good news was that at about 6pm, I was dilated to an 8pm and we were on our way!  I couldn't believe it and thought the nurse had to be wrong!  At that point though, I stopped dilating at 8 cm and the doctor suggested I get a tiny bit of pitocin to encourage stronger and faster contractions.  I agreed.  By 730pm, little Lucia was already crowning, and then everything happened at lightening speed. The room was all set up, the mirror brought in so I could see the birth, the doctor arrived, and I began pushing at about 750pm.  I pushed about 10 times and little Lucia was born at 812pm!    The nurses and doctor called me the Super Star Pusher for how fast and controlled I was able to be.

There is not one thing I would change about my labor and delivery.  Not a thing.  Rafa and I made all the decisions together, I was able to feel true labor, was able to feel in control of my decisions and of me pushing her out, and in the end, was blessed with a beautiful baby girl.

The nurses at Good Sam hospital were amazingly supportive, kind, loving, informed, and attentive.

And....Rafa was a perfect partner; supportive, encouraging, loving, kind, and I could feel his strength at every moment.  I could not have done this alone, for he is a big part of why my labor and delivery was so smooth.

Here are a few photos...

Bump on the belly and along the road...

It's cathartic for me to write, so here it goes.  I have been 1 cm dilated and 75% effaced for three weeks. My last appointment on Tuesday, I bumped up a whopping one cm.  I am thinking great, success and a bit of progress!.  Let's keep plugging along!   Not so fast.  After my elation, the midwife brings up that my doctor would want to induce me by 41 weeks, which would be next Wednesday the 13th.  Huh?  What did she mean?  I though I had another two weeks to have this baby?  Isn't 42 weeks the magic number?  Not 41?  I mean that's like years of time.  And then surprise again, once I talked to my doctor yesterday, learned that she wants to induce me on Friday night to Saturday morning.  Hold the press....first thought I had two weeks, then one, and now 3 days?  And just like that, in my whole cool  perfectly normal 10 months being pregnant, I now felt terrified, sad, disappointed, and like a complete failure.

And the tears haven't stopped yet.

10 months of anticipation, has accumulated into these last few moments, the possibility that I could be induced, the reality that I AM going to have a baby, and the reality that I will be a mom come this Saturday.  All of sudden everything is going too fast and I don't feel ready.

Life doesn't always happen how we hope, and I am sure this wont be the first time I am confronted with these feelings while embracing my role as mother.

I wish for only one thing...that my baby girl is safe and healthy no matter how she graces herself into the World.

Te amo menina.

Baby Girl Yawns - 24 Weeks!

This video was taken waaaaay back in December, but I just got around to editing. It's amazing what these little tykes are doing in the uterus : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKKr5k8Jov4

Rafa Project - Cubby Shelf for Baby

There are tons of bookshelves out there to buy, but I wanted something that was large enough to hold baby girls books, as well as could fit baskets for storage for smaller items.  And of course, we wanted to build her something personal.  I mapped out how large I wanted, and asked Rafa to build with the wains-coating in the back of the cubbies.  We were going to add another detail, but decided against it, since Rafa and I want to build something similar later, but with real wood.  This was the first time Rafa built with pressed wood, and he is not as happy with the results as if he built it with real wood.  For now, this does the trick and I am glad we have it up and ready to go!  Finished product in the next post : )

Nursery Complete

I would say the nursery is now finished.  I feel like there are some details missing on the left side of the room, but I have no idea what they would be.  I just decided to stop spending money!  We did buy an America and Brasilian flag that I would like Rafa to build a display case for, but other than that, here is what baby girl has to come home too.  I am most proud of the tree (which took us hours to put up) and of course the cubby unit.  All of the hard work Rafa put into it, as well as all of the books, toys, and home made items that our family and friends have given to her.  It's special.  And I think its official...baby girl has more clothes than I do.  It's going to take an act of God to keep up with her wardrobe!

9 Months Baby Bump!

This may be the last collage, because I am not sure any of us want to see me at 10 months pregnant, ugh!

I love how in the first photo, Bella is happy, has no idea whats going on.  And then in the last one she is like "what the heck is going on here".  Little does she know : )

Just a couple more weeks to go!

Feelings, lots of them!

So here we are, at 36 weeks.  I remember in late July when I first saw that little blue line.  I cannot believe now that we are just one week shy of being considered full term.  The journey has been easy going to say the least, I have felt pretty normal throughout my pregnancy, nothing exceptional or out of the ordinary to report.  Boring, I know, but I am certainly thankful that all of my symptoms have been manageable.  That must mean my delivery will be grueling!

As I head into my last month of pregnancy, I feel so much.  While I have felt unordinarily calm and at peace during my pregnancy ( I am usually one big stress case), I am now feeling a wide range of emotions.  I feel outside of myself, like, is this really happening? Even though baby girl makes herself knows, a lot : ) Thanks for all of those yoga stretches baby girl, that makes me feel like I am about to burst!   I am anxious to meet her, wondering if she will have Rafa's eyes and my smile?  Or vice versa?  Will she be ok?  Healthy, strong, and entering into the world with grace?  I am also excited to begin this journey as the 4 of us, our little family. To share in all of the fun times that Rafa, Bella, and I have shared.  But I am also feeling ambivalent, from little things like worried about my how my patience will be without sleep ( I really love my sleep!), or bigger things like how my marriage will sustain itself now that we have someone else to love and care for so much.  Or how will I be as a mother; kind, patient, selfless?  So many questions, doubts, and fears.  And no answers.

At the end of the day, I guess what is most important is that she is healthy and that she is surrounded by love and joy. Baby girl deserves the best. Always.

T-One Month!