Feelings, lots of them!

So here we are, at 36 weeks.  I remember in late July when I first saw that little blue line.  I cannot believe now that we are just one week shy of being considered full term.  The journey has been easy going to say the least, I have felt pretty normal throughout my pregnancy, nothing exceptional or out of the ordinary to report.  Boring, I know, but I am certainly thankful that all of my symptoms have been manageable.  That must mean my delivery will be grueling!

As I head into my last month of pregnancy, I feel so much.  While I have felt unordinarily calm and at peace during my pregnancy ( I am usually one big stress case), I am now feeling a wide range of emotions.  I feel outside of myself, like, is this really happening? Even though baby girl makes herself knows, a lot : ) Thanks for all of those yoga stretches baby girl, that makes me feel like I am about to burst!   I am anxious to meet her, wondering if she will have Rafa's eyes and my smile?  Or vice versa?  Will she be ok?  Healthy, strong, and entering into the world with grace?  I am also excited to begin this journey as the 4 of us, our little family. To share in all of the fun times that Rafa, Bella, and I have shared.  But I am also feeling ambivalent, from little things like worried about my how my patience will be without sleep ( I really love my sleep!), or bigger things like how my marriage will sustain itself now that we have someone else to love and care for so much.  Or how will I be as a mother; kind, patient, selfless?  So many questions, doubts, and fears.  And no answers.

At the end of the day, I guess what is most important is that she is healthy and that she is surrounded by love and joy. Baby girl deserves the best. Always.

T-One Month!