Dear Grams and Paps,

I miss you.  I have missed you since the moment you left my side.  I missed you at my graduation day, I missed you at my wedding, I have missed you gracing the front porch of our home in Portland.   But this past week, I have been missing you more than I ever have.  And the reason is very clear, Rafa and I are going to have a baby and you both will be Great Grandparents from above.  I long for what could have been though, the day when you could meet our child.  I want so much to share with our baby the legacy of you both and how much you meant to me.  Is that possible?  Is it even right?  Do I reserve those special feelings to myself?  When you know of something so pure and wonderful, isn't it normal to want to share that with your child?  Don't get me wrong.  Baby Figueira will have so much family and love around, and will create many wonderful and lasting memories in their life.  The abundance of love will be felt forever.  But the questions remain in my heart and the fear resonates in my soul.  I long for you both to know each other and what the road will be to get there.  And this is even before I have met my own child.  But I guess for me, the moment of motherhood began when I decided to have a baby.










Maybe as our child grows, I will bring you both to him/her is simple ways.  I will put glasses on my forehead and pretend that I can't find them, I will teach you to play solitaire, I will bring you a flower in the morning, I will say, "Today is a good day because I am alive", I will curl your hair and paint your nails (maybe if you are a boy too!), I will call you Sunshine (boy too!), I will take you on picnics, I will bake you French Butter Creams, I will write to you when you travel far, I will send you my last $5, I will hug you when no one else will.


Our child may never fully understand what you meant to me, but maybe that fact that I know, is enough for the entire World.

Lovingly,
Your Susnhine

Rubber Ducky You're the One

So, I love baths.  But apparently hot baths are a no no when you are pregnant.  So we went out and bought a rubber ducky that has a built in temperature gage.  There is a HOT on the bottom of the ducky and when it turns white, it means the water is too hot.  So this is what I use to keep my baths warm, and can be used later for baby's baths.  This is our very first baby purchase : )

Baby Figueira 11 Weeks 4 Days

So we had another appointment today and therefore another ultrasound.  Baby Figueira is looking more like a baby every day!  Baby is 1.88 inches from head to rump and the heartbeat was measured at 159.  Baby has a big little head (big brains!) and was very stubborn for the technician.  Baby did not want to get in the right position for all the measurements that it ended up taking almost an hour and two technicians to get all of the measurements. From this picture I can tell baby has Rafa's cheeks, I can't wait to squeeze them!  Baby was moving all around, waving arms and legs, creating lots of commotion.

There are certain moments that take your breath away, and every time I see our baby, it happens to me.  We are so lucky.

Old Posts

So over the last couple months while we have been keeping our pregnancy a secret, I have been writing entries, just not posting them.  So Since the cat is out of the bag, I feel it is time to post away!  So they are all posted today, but written on the day that I had those particular thoughts (noted in the heading).  It feels so good just to share the news and share the many random thoughts we (mostly I) have!

Hugs!

September 14, 2010 ... Baby Love is....

Daddy playing Classical music for you any chance he can get : ) And even if the music won't actually make you any smarter than we know you will be, Classical music is something that your dad and grand dad just love to listen to.  But if you aren't a big fan, just give me a little poke and I will play you some 80's : )

http://www.tinylove.com/article.aspx?articleId=29

August 25, 2010 ... Being Pregnant Is....

Having a kitchen full of food and not wanting a single thing in it! At 8 weeks pregnant, that's where we are at!

August 27, 2010 ... Pregnancy is...

Buying pizza, Cheetos, doughnuts, and chocolate peanut bars at the grocery store and then getting home and wanting none of it.

:-)

August 23, 2010 ... Bun in the Oven

So Rafa and I went to our first doctors appointment on Friday the 20th.  And much to my relief, we saw the baby and the heartbeat beating strong.  The process went too fast, that really, I could have laid there all day looking at that little black and white screen, heart deep in the little one that is growing inside of me.  Rafa was so entranced, he had to get up to the screen very close just to take it all in.  We are now 8 weeks and 1 day along, but as of last Friday, here were the details:

Length: 1.13 cm
7 Weeks and 4 Days along
139 Beats per minute
The top left point to the bottom right point is head to foot : )

This Wednesday, we get to meet with the doctor and should have a better idea of how far along we are and can get all of questions answered.  I wish I could go to the doctors every day to know exactly what is going on.  So much of right now, is just waiting.  Waiting for the next appointment, or the next stage.  I don't want it to rush along, but then again, I want to do something.  Like, can I buy anything?  Can we prepare anything?    But I am learning the hard way that this is not a process I can try and control, for it is all up to fate and time, and boy does it feel so scary to me. Maybe I'll take up cooking, that should keep my mind off things : )

August 16, 2010 ... 7 Weeks and 4 Days

I have been feeling nauseous the last week or so, not terrible, but to where I don't crave many of the same foods as I used to.  I am lucky this is as bad as it has been for me.  I was a bit sluggish this past weekend; the temperature was 90+ and the last thing I felt like doing was being outside in the heat.  Just for fun, I looked at the endless option of baby strollers online.  I figured, if it is too early to do real shopping at least I can start studying up.  Our baby is still a blueberry, the little muffin, but by the end of the week, we will hopefully see a little gumby with a heart beat.  Then I will feel like we are on our way.

I have told two friends now, Liza and Olimpia, both out of complete necessity.  Liza because she felt bad she couldn't run the marathon with me due to an injury, and Olimpia because she was signing up to run one with me.  They needed to know that I wouldn't be running the marathon, only walking really fast : )  They were both ecstatic and I was surprised by their reaction.  Who knew your friends could feel that much joy for you?

I feel so much these days; I am joyful, elated, nervous, even ambivalent, which I guess is all normal.  I just want our baby to have the best life and feel so much love. I especially want him or her to know the families that we have so far away.  I am not sure how we can do this without them close and it worries me dearly.  I guess our travel fund will only need to expand more, along with my Belly, in preparation for all the visits we will have to take.  This little tyke deserves to know our families; both the American and Brasilian side.

August 6, 2010 ... Baby Dreams

Today we are 6 weeks pregnant, our baby is the size of a sweet pea, and both our American and Brasilian families know our little secret!  Time could not move any slower getting to our first doctors appointment on August 18th, but in the meantime I am having consecutive baby dreams.  Our baby is a little girl and she looks just like Rafa; dark hair, dark eyes, and dark skin.  She is absolutely beautiful in my dreams.

July 30, 2010 ... 5 Weeks and 2 Days

And can time go by any slower?  It is like waiting for a tropical vacation, but 10 times slower.  I just want the baby to be further along.  I want to hear a heartbeat.  I want to see her.  She is only the size of an appleseed, but I am ready for her to be the whole apple pie with a side of vanilla ice cream.  I already love her so much....

July 28, 2010 ... Afraid to go #2 and Other Random Thoughts

So after I took the original tests last Thursday, I was literally, afraid to go #2.  As if going to the bathroom would exert too much, let's say, squeeze, and potentially harm the little bean.  What was I thinking?  Yesterday, after what felt like a month wait, we took another test, at 4am, because I desperately had to go the the bathroom (at least that was my excuse!)  And voila, another positive test.  So we called the doctors later that day and scheduled the first three appointments.  Our first appointment is 8/18, which can I tell you, feels like decades away.  Meanwhile, I go to the bathroom a hundred times a day, and no not becasue I have to go, but becasue I am constantly am checking that I still haven't gotten my period.  I am that worried.  In other news, we have told my family about the pregnancy and my mom is already talking about the baby shower.  It was a relief to share the news.  I can't wait to tell the World!  Rafa told me this morning, that he wants to tell his family.  He is finally excited and not cool as cucumber anymore.  I like him uncool : )

Just a side note, I am calling the baby a she already.  Must mean its a boy ; )

July 23, 2010 ... Test Calling My Name

It's Friday morning and there is an unopened pregnancy test calling my name.  But no.  I agreed to 5 days, Tuesday.  So I wait.  In the meantime, I am writing like crazy and not posting.  I have to get my feelings out and yet I can't share any of this with the rest of the World.  This morning, I am already thinking about my prenatal vitamins (which I put in a little baggy so no one knows).  I am prepared to find online a pregnancy calculator, something along the lines of "What Happens from Week to Week".  I am not ready to buy antyhing, like books, I do have some reservations about jumping the gun.  But when I think of everything that needs to happen between now and when the baby is born, I compleltey felt overwhelmed.  So I will also reasearch something like, "What to Have Completed for Baby, Week to Week".  I'm a mess!

And while I have to wait until Tuesday tot ake another test, every day I don't get my period, is another confirmation that we are in fact pregannt.  As of 625am on Friday July 23rd, no period.  My last period started 6/24.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

July 22, 2010 ... Figueira #4?

Yesterday morning I woke up knowing that I would take a pregnancy test. I mean, come on, I was one day late and we have been trying for exactly a year.  So just like I had done many times before, I peed on a stick with 50% hope 50% despair.  But this time, there was the faintest blue line in the result window.  I thought to myself that it could not be.  Then I looked closer, and closer, and thought, that has to be a positive result.  I ran to my computer and checked out images on google for pregnancy results.  And sure enough there was a good chance that my faint little blue line meant that Rafa and I were pregnant.  I was a mess, a jumping up and down giddy mess.  And this was me being calm.  So, I pulled myself together and headed to work with Rafa.  Later that day, I thought, I need to take one more test, of a different brand;  to hopefully rule out the chances of a fluke.  So I walked up to Fed Meyers, bought a a pack of tests, (only $5.99 btw, baby, you are already a bargain! ) And unromantically went in to the store bathroom. Sure enough, this time a faint pink like that made a cross with another line.  There was definitely something going on. And just like in true Sonja fashion, I could not wait a second to tell Rafa.  So I called him at work and told him.  He says, "Are you sure, absolutely sure?".  I said yes, I can show you the tests.  I could sense he was elated, but very cautious.  He said let's go about like normal, and wait a week to take another test.  I said no, I want to take one every day.  He said I was being anxious.  So we agreed on 5 days.  In my heart I know he is trying to protect us from heartbreak if this doesn't work out.  When I picked him up that day and showed him the test, he studied it very hard, and while he didn't want to say it, I knew he knew that yes, something was going on here.   So at the end of the day, this could be the moment that changes our lives forever, and while I am skipping around the house whistling, Rafa is strategically planning is calmness : )  We are who we are, and this baby with be a little bit of both of us, the dreamer and the realist.  But whatever happens, I am 100% hopeful today.

"You're Married, Not Dead"... Vegas 2010`

So the girls and I hit up Vegas last weekend for a little getaway.  It was a great weekend and we tried to fit in as much as we could, even though I was completely wiped out.  And the title of the post?  That was the funniest thing we heard all weekend, when we told a club promoter we wouldn't be going to his club one night.  Funny!

The City...

The pool....

Spa time!

Hoover Dam and Lake Mead...

Nightlife!

Formal Living Room Before and After

So when we moved into our house two years ago, the formal living was the bright orange below.  While Rafa loved the color, I felt it was too much for a formal living room.  So we decided to redesign the look of the room. Rafa had built those side tables for the couch, and we decided to sand and repaint the coffee table.  We also painted the room, bought two new accent chairs, and wall mirrors and wall art.  And from the previous post, Rafa built the console table.  So we were able to furnish the room, and redesign it all for less than $400.  We still need to get a few accessories for the console table (it's a bit bare), but other than that we are all done.  And both of us are super happy!

Tall Console Table - Rafa Project

We needed a tall and large console table for our formal living room.  So, Rafa and I designed this table and Rafa built it for us.  Rafa did a great job and it looks beautiful in our living room.  It's so great to have a handy man!

Lake Billy Chionook - Labor Day Weekend

Since July 4th was such a hit, we decided to join the Deziel's and their family for another weekend of camping and boating.  Again, it was such a wonderful weekend.  The weather wasn't quite as warm, but then again we have just had a really cool summer, so it was nice to have some fun and hang out.  And unlike me, I didn't end up taking many photos, but here are just a few : )

Bella and Rafa on the drive out....Bella resting her head!

Brianna and Anna Jean (Marisa's Mom)

Bella sunbathing : )

Oregon Symphony on the Waterfront

Rafa and I went to Symphony on the Waterfront last week.  We decided to leave Bella at home since the fireworks at the end of show scare her so much.  The evening was warm and perfect and we were so thankful because the two days before that were cloudy and rainy.  We love this evening every year; we pack a picnic and take the boat out and just listen to the beautiful music.